Healing from control towards connection
𝐈𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥… 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
I remember when I was in school getting my Bachelors done in Dietetics & Human Nutrition.
I hid a big secret & tried to ‘fix’ myself with my degree.
When I started my degree, I was overweight and had moments of massive overeating, eating in secret, night eating…and pretty much always on a diet, or even restricting myself in front of my family to show them I was trying to lose weight.
But my habits got worse, my migraines got worse, my weight was worse, and I felt like a failure and so stupid for not being able to ‘stick’ to what my prestigious schooling was telling me to help people who needed to lose weight.
I was top of my class, I knew it all, but for the life of me, I kept gaining more and more and more weight, and trying 1 diet after another…and failing every time.
And I felt so alone.
I didn’t tell anyone about my secret eating habits, having cookies hidden in my bedroom so that my parents won’t see it…such a tough & dark period for me.
But people did no know because I was always the jolly, smiling, outgoing Dina.
So I just thought this is it, I am stuck like this, and I will never change or fix myself.
One day, we had to apply for our internship/residency at the end of our program, and… being the black sheep that I am in never following the crowd, I applied for the residency at the 1 place nobody wanted to apply to.
A residency in the Eating Disorder Unit of the leading institute in Canada.
Not because I knew anything about eating disorders.
I literally applied because I could drive there and have free parking. (sometimes your craziest reasons to do something actually change your life…)
But this 1 decision, this 1 position, this 1 residency changed my life.
I finally found myself in a place where what I was going through in hiding for the past 4 years was something that I was not the only one going through.
I attended the rotations and the group sessions, and every time a patient talked about what they were going through, I almost wanted to cry because…I was going through the same thing.
I finally felt that my struggle had NOTHING to do with having to control more what I was eating and doing, but it has EVERYTHING to do with CONNECTING to my body & my happiness.
It’s then that I, pretty much, started ignoring everything that I was taught in school, and dove more into this connectedness that I had lost and that was the CURE to end my overeating (now know as Binge Eating Disorder).
And after thinking and working outside of the ‘bubble’ of what was taught back then (and that is still taught today through all this talk about dieting, and detox, and control and….BS…)
I healed myself.
And I went on to heal hundreds of clients in the past 20 years.
I actually have ice cream in my freezer, chips in the cupboard, chocolate in my drawer. They can stay there for months and I don’t think twice about them.
Because I decide to have them when I am hungry for it, and not when I am tired or exhausted or depressed or anxious.
Food is food. It is fun, but it is not longer a coping mechanism, a best friend, an activity.
And it is not only me having this free life around food. All my clients do, and it is so AMAZING!
So, you might be thinking how to go from control to connectedness so that you too (just like me and my clients) can have a freezer full of ice cream and not even care.
There is a system for this because no amount of positive thinking will change this. This is deeper than your conscious thoughts.
1. Refocus your goals – if you keep focusing on weight loss as the cure for your binge eating, think again. It is time to focus on ending the binge eating, and then the weight will follow.
* Stop weighing yourself (please throw that scale)
* Only wear clothing that you feel good in
* Keep focusing on releasing the binge eating (and not weight loss)
2. Tune in to what your body needs to work at 100% – you can’t boost your metabolism and end your constant struggle with food if you are always hungry! Calm your inner child, feed it, and then we can move on to the next step.
* Stop dieting
* Feed your body regularly
* Stay hydrated
* Eat without any distractions
* Taste your food by eating slower
3. Upgrade your operating system – here, it is time to flip the way you see food, you see emotions, you see life…and make your thoughts work for you (and not against you). Time to rewire those self-sabotaging thoughts! Otherwise, you cannot create a new reality with an old operating system that is dragging you down.
* List out all your limiting beliefs
* Rewrite these beliefs
* Repeat daily
So, yes, it is that simple, but not simple enough to do it on your own. Because I know you tried some of this, and you are still struggling.
So you have 2 choices:
1. Work with someone (aka ME), who has, all together, 9 years of medical & health training in my back-pocket, and 20 years of transforming my clients’ lives to go from CONTROL to CONNECTED in 12 weeks or less.
2. You can spend 9 years learning what I learned.
So, because you are done with this and you are ready, truly ready to stop food and your emotions from controlling your day to day, and being too ashamed to look at yourself in the mirror these days, you only have 1 true choice.
Work with me.
Feel free to message me if you have any questions, check out my latest FB lives over on my business page, and if a voice inside of you connects with what I wrote and the way I teach, we are meant to work together.
Your life is now. Let’s heal it together.
Dina Merhbi, Body Balance Coach